After I graduated, my family and I moved to San Francisco and I attended SFSU. I didn't know a soul and it was very lonely. Somehow I managed to go to school full time and work over 30 hours a week. Since we lived so close, I didn't live in the dorms. I had a hard time meeting people because I was so busy and never had time to hang around campus. My loneliness led to emotional eating and the pounds quickly packed on.
My sophomore year I joined a sorority and it changed my life. I met some amazing girls and it completely changed my college experience. I was involved, held positions within my sorority and suddenly had tons of friends. I found myself much happier. Happier but much fatter. I weighed 189 at my heaviest.
I watched as one of my good friends within the sorority lost about 50lbs with Weight Watchers and one emotionally draining fat day, I decided to attend a meeting that night.
About a year later, I had lost about 40lbs. I think I was somewhere in the 140's
I felt amazing. Absolutely amazing. For the first time in my life, I felt attractive and not ashamed of my body. I found so much more confidence within myself and was so much happier.
In 2006, I moved to Australia for a year to study abroad. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.
(Please note the jumpsuit doesn't do my weight loss justice.)
Unfortunately, I found it very difficult to adapt to their way of eating and my weight crept back up.
About half way through my time in Australia, I fell for a great guy. After I moved back to San Francisco in December of 2006, we stayed together. I got back on Weight Watchers. He came to San Francisco during the summer of 2007 and I had already lost alot of the weight. I think I had gotten back down to about 145/150ish.
About 6 months later, right after Christmas of 2007, I was on a flight back to Australia for a month-long trip and I was at my skinniest. I weighed 138 and I felt absolutely incredible.
While I was in Australia for that month, The Aussie and I decided that I would return to SF, pack up my stuff and move to Australia permanently. I returned home, booked my one way ticket, packed my bags....but literally a week or two before, I completely freaked out. I didn't want to leave my family and friends. I was scared. Rick and I broke up and I was devastated. Again, I ate my emotions. My cute little 138lbs body was gone. I was fat again. (Un)fortunately my computer had some issues and I lost alot of pics from around this time...but trust me. I was fat.
By my 25th birthday in 2009, I had gotten my weight back down to 145 and I felt pretty good.
And I kept it off for almost a year - just in time for a 2 week vacation with my family in Maui.
About a month before I left for Maui, I met the love of my life. We live together now in San Diego and I couldn't be happier. Except for the fact that I am fat again. Only this time it's because I am in love and got "comfortable."
I am not nearly as heavy as I was at my worst, but I feel gross, out of shape and unattractive. Although, Matt would never admit that's the case.
I want to get down to 120lbs for ME. I want to feel good in my body. I want so badly to have the confidence I had once found. And this year I am determined to make it happen.
